Rock the world

The meaning of what I'm doing _ or in other words: "What's it all about"?

I went to sleep at 5 a.m. tonight.
Ok I was studying. But then I couldn't sleep. I was so tired but yet I couldn't sleep.
Did it never happen to you too?
And then I realized: What the hell am I doing?
I was the one who used to go to bed at 10 p.m. before exams.. And now I feel more, day by day, like a bat: it seems I have problems working on the daylight but I do it pretty well during the night.
What's going on here??
When I resigned in June 2006 I was sure WAD (Without Any Doubt) it was 100% my way.
And who knows me, knows that if I start something in my life, I go all the way. But this time is different; this time I also have fears...
Me, the "certainty" woman. Me, the inflexible and resolute one.
I'm stumbling like never before. And moreover thinking about "career" (I know it's a negative word written like this, but I'm an ambitious girl..).

Maybe it's just because of pressures, the stress of our lives where we don't have time to relax a bit anymore. And when we have a bit of this free time, we try to fill it the more we can. Everytime.
Isn't it true? Why do "we" are so stupid?
Why can't we take no longer the pleasure of listening to a song just lying down on the sofa and doing simply nothing?
Everytime saying "Yeah, next time". And then nothing changes the time after.

Now I have spread thoughts in my mind & I'm jumping from one to the other and probably if someone is reading can't read connections through the whole subject. But I do.
Maybe I shouldn't have resigned & probably it was also a fucking lucky fortune when I found the job I wished to have & only 12 days after my graduation.
But who knows what will be named "right" or "wrong" by us in the future?
Past is past, & you can't delete it in the blink of an eye.
Did I choose this for me? Yes. So take everything which is following.


When the hunger of knowledge is still stronger than the desire of money, you can also falter and stagger, but be sure: it will be only for one day & then you'll stand up again like you used to.

And this is my aim for today.

posted by Doc.Silvietta @ 11:40 am